Book appointment: 445-545-1716

Click here

Blog

Relationship

The Path To Find Harmony In Your Relationship

Do you sometimes feel unable to relate with the person you love?

Perhaps you find that an old incident continues to be a recurrent theme in arguments with your partner. A reason could be when our “withholds” occur where we project old thoughts and feelings onto current reality and act as if they’re real but fail to reveal how we really feel to our partners.

Joy Hosey a relationship coach suggests that in order to keep a long-term intimacy couples need to learn to stay current and transparent with their emotions. This means finding honorable ways of confiding our inner reality to our mate, including the petty stuff. Sharing withholds is an intimacy practice where both partners agree to share their inner terrain while taking full responsibility for their thoughts and feelings, instead of defending them. When done successfully, blame and shame take a back seat to self- acceptance and empathy.

Below is a four step guide to help you be more honest with your emotions:

  • Talk about the triggering moment as if describing as snapshot.
  • Name the bodily sensations that occurred.
  • Claim any feelings (usually it’s some version of sad, mad, afraid).
  • Take ownership of any thoughts, stories, imaginings, or memories that were evoked. (are you offended because the situation reminds you of your childhood etc)

This practice is not for the faint of hearts. It requires both partners’ agreement to let go of their defensive postures (or at least take full responsibility for them).

In Mindfulness,

Coralis Solomon

 
 
Dr. Coralis Solomon, PhD, LMHC, NCC, QS

Dr. Coralis Solomon, PhD, LMHC, NCC, QS

Dr. Coralis Solomon, PhD, LMHC, NCC, QS is the founder of Self-Compassion Pathways and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with more than a decade of experience helping individuals and couples navigate anxiety, trauma, depression, relationship challenges, and life transitions. She is also a counselor educator and clinical supervisor, bringing a unique blend of academic expertise and real-world clinical experience to her work. Dr. Solomon takes a holistic, trauma-informed approach to therapy, integrating evidence-based modalities such as Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), mindfulness, and self-compassion practices. Her work is grounded in the belief that healing happens when people learn to relate to themselves with greater kindness, resilience, and authenticity. As a certified yoga instructor, mindfulness practitioner, and advocate for whole-person wellness, Dr. Solomon creates a warm and inclusive therapeutic environment where clients feel heard, supported, and empowered to make meaningful changes. Whether working with individuals seeking personal growth or couples striving to strengthen their relationships, she is dedicated to helping clients build lasting emotional well-being and a more compassionate relationship with themselves.
All Posts